Sunday, January 4, 2009

Hasn't Hit Me Yet

Woooooah. Sunday again. What did I say about Sundays? I have a wee hangover after a birthday/going away party last night. It was fun. It was worth it. Totally. I saw a friend I haven't seen in many years - really cool and kinda weird. I started to get a little choked up when some people were leaving, finally coming to the realization that I may not see them again for a long time... then again, maybe I will. I guess that really sums up the point of the trip I'm taking: not knowing. There is something so wonderfully frightening and exciting about not knowing.

I think many of us spend our lives with a distinct plan in mind. When "things don't go as planned" people get upset, angry, confused. I've spent my life that way, really. At 28 years old, I'm finally in a place where it's OK to not know, it's exciting. Don't get me wrong, it also scares the living bejeesus outta me, but that's OK too.

I'm starting to miss people I haven't left yet. "Daniel"... I miss him already, despite our ups and downs and disagreements, he's my very favorite scrabble partner, lover, friend. Regardless of what happens I hope he is always my friend above all. Damn, I get all teary even writing it. Jenny of course, my god she's amazing. My friend of nearly 10 years who knows me better than almost anyone. She carries such a beautiful air about her, I hope I can carry it with me all over the world.

I'm supposed to have dinner with Jen and her sisters and their "partners" as well as "Daniel" on Tuesday evening. I hope I don't cry to much. But hey, what better company to cry with than the people that you love?

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